Grossness

I had my first puker today. Pukers do not understand these principles:

• If you feel like puking, first sit next to a trash can. You should tell me if you REALLY feel like puking.
• If you are not sitting next to a trash can, if you feel like puking, you should run to the trash can.
• Puking on the floor is not an option.
• Please do not puke in a "high-traffic area." It would be preferred if you could puke on the tile by the sink and not on the actual carpet.
• Once you have started puking, try to take yourself and the trash can out into the pod, so that the other kids don't start puking because the sounds and smells are incredibly disgusting.
• Please do not puke right before a classroom transition. Things are crazy then!

If you can't tell, I had my first "puke on the floor" incident today.

ONE, HE DID NOT TELL ME HE FELT SICK.

TWO, ONCE HE FELT SICK, HE DID NOT GO TO THE TRASH CAN.

THREE, HE PUKED ON MY CARPET. DISGUSTING.

FOUR, GOOD THING HE IS NOT MY KID (we rotate math groups).

FIVE, HE PUKED AS I WAS ABOUT TO ROTATE MY KIDS. so, I had 25 kids inside my room, AS WELL AS 25 kids outside my room waiting to be let in. They had to wait while I called the office for a janitor, and then wait again until the kids teacher could get him to walk him down to the nurse (he's in a combo classroom).

I told my own students that if they felt like throwing up, they darn well better make sure they get to the trash can, because they are NOT puking on MY FLOOR!!!

Tuesday's Best and Worst

Best

Boogeying down in a "silent 10-second dance" outside the bathrooms. One of those spur of the moments ideas that the kids love while letting them know you are a real person (with some strange dance moves).

Worst

My Elmo (the overhead projector's cooler replacement) died during math. I learned just how dependent I am on that thing...it was hard going back to the whiteboard (what with having to hold my hand mike in my hand instead of using my neck mic, which is dead. I know, I have it terrible!) But seriously, I can no longer live without an Elmo, a projector, and a microphone!

Volleyball

Volleyball is something that has grown on me since my BYU days. I sorta kinda played back during Young Women's (which probably doesn't count), but I was pretty much a die-hard soccer player, and I didn't really like anything else.

Fast forward a few years, and I realized that soccer wasn't super practical anymore. AKA, I hate running and I had begun to slooooooowww down. I took a co-ed volleyball class at BYU (intimidating, AND it was a beginner's class), but I really liked it.

Last year, my mentor teacher (now friend) asked me if I wanted to play on her volleyball team. I was really flattered, but double-checked to make sure it was fairly non-competitive. I LIKE volleyball, but I'm not super GOOD at it.

So here I am, a year later, still playing, and I LOVE it (as long as I play well, I'm still a LITTLE competitive). Our team is called "Bump, Set, Duck" (haha, get it?), and its made up of mostly teachers from the area with a few different occupations thrown in :) We have a good time, don't sweat the bad plays, laugh at the ridiculously horrible plays, and occasionally have some great moments. Here we are, in a picture taken last year :)

Spanish is spelled E-S-P-......

This will probably only be funny to Spanish speakers (not that I'm a spanish speaker by ANY MEANS), but the other day I was helping out one of my Hispanic kids with a journal article. He mentioned his sister, and I asked what her name was. He replied, "Candy" and I said, "Oh, how does she spell it?" He looked confused for a moment, and then said, "K, no D, U..." and then trailed off. I was thinking that Mom must have given Candy an oddly spelled variation of the name, and then my little friend looked at me, and tried again saying, "My mom spells it D-U-L-C-E." I said, "Oh, DULCE!! Your sister's name is Dulce!" He was trying to translate her name into English for Gringo ME (Dulce means sweet/candy in English), but spelled it for me in Spanish. I started giggling. It's no wonder our ELL kids have it rough!

On another espanol note, I was called into the office to translate one afternoon last week. Can we spell D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R? I politely explained to the man that I had learned "espanol guatemalteco" which is "mas despacio de espanol mexicano." I also tried to make it clear that I only knew a little bit of Spanish and he would need to talk slow. He seemed to understand most of what I said, but then he started rapidly talking about something...I have no idea what. I was able to figure out his name, that he was the uncle of the student we were looking for, and that the girl with him was his grandchild...luckily it was good enough to get his situation figured out, but I don't think the office will be calling me back to translate anytime soon!

In the last week

I have:

• written a student up for telling another student, "Screw you."
  

• Reprimanded (loudly) the whole class for living like pigs. I mean, seriously, leaving your USED tissues on the floor is NOT OKAY!!!!

• taught my math group to "celebrate silently." They get to celebrate, I don't have to deal with the noise.

• tried to teach about subjects and predicates. Which is totally boring, even for me. And difficult since half of them STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT A SENTENCE IS. I find myself saying over and over again, "Just because it fits in a line...doesn't make it a sentence!"

• had a student tell me that his dad said I was spelling the word "signed" wrong in the planner. Turns out HIS KID was copying the word down wrong. Yes, your child can do no wrong apparently.

• written up another student for throwing stuff. When asked why, he replied, "Cuz I wanted to." Wrong answer, smartie pants. Apparently a high IQ doesn't make you "smart."
  

• Wished for Friday everrrrrry day.

Hooray for upcoming inservice Mondays!

September 11

I always get all chokey chokey on Sept. 11th. For me, it just hit too close to home...D.C. is only two hours away, and my dad often travelled there for work.

It's one of those days where most people remember EXACTLY where they were. I was a senior in high school, and we were sitting in art history when our principal came on to tell us about the towers. As we watched the news footage on the TV, the second plane crashed, as well as the ones in Shanksville and the Pentagon.

I had some friends who were pretty freaked out. One of my good friends had a close mentor working in DC that day, and no one really knew what was happening, and cell phone coverage was sketchy. We got sent home at 1 pm that day, and spent the rest of the day watching the footage. I was lucky to know where my family and friends were, and I knew everyone was safe, but it didn't stop you from feeling incredibly sad for the victims and their families.

If there is one great thing about the last 8 years of Bush's presidency, it is that I WAS SAFE. Our country is being protected by intelligent, hard-working people, and for that, I am so grateful.

Sometimes in Kansas, being far away from where it all happened, it is much easier to forget. But that day has definitely changed many things in America, and I'm grateful to the heroes of that event who do not ask for fame, money, or even ANY recognition. I'm grateful to have this day to remember them, the victims, and how life has changed since then.

As Heard In School

I heard these two things a few weeks ago, but they've stayed with me, so I thought I would post them.

I gave my kids an assignment to come up with a team name. I overheard this conversation between Team 2.

Table Leader: Ok, well, who here is Mexican? (He must have had a Mexican name in mind).

Five out of the 6 kids raise their hands, and then slowly turn to look at the one girl who is NOT Mexican. I am surprised because I didn't realize all those kids were Mexican!

Table Leader: Awww, DESTINEE!!! (Dashing his hopes for an all-Mexican table).

Walking past the kindergarten room one day, I heard this gem:

Teacher, SHE undid my BELT!

Just one of those days...

(what I need after today...a whole face full of CHOCOLATE)

Today was one of those days at school were I was the hockey puck and both the kids and the curriculum were the hockey players wielding their sticks.

My first one went to recovery. Luckily I didn't have to write the referral, because when I sent her to another room for talking while I was teaching, she decided to make farting noises at the other students.

Mature.

I had another one who MIGHT be MY first recovery referral for writing with dry erase marker on his textbook. Anything remotely shiny is hard to resist for those kids: "painting" their fingernails has been noted as well.

I started the kids on a lesson where they NEEDED calculators. Minus the calculators. The math instructional coach was like, "These kids can't do this. Don't they need calculators?" And I was like, "No, they don't." And then she pointed to the book which SAID, "Use calculators."

Smart.

Let's not forget the conversation about another sobber I have (who sobbed twice today. she has a good reason though) with the school psychologist, the bathroom break I desperately needed by 3:30, and the time I yelled at the kids in front of the special ed teacher. Oh, AND my first parent phone call (scary! but it was fine) and the parents that kept getting their kids early (AHHH! annoying!) AND the kids that have been absent forever (watch out, there is SOMETHING going around!) AND my microphone that is not working and my stuffy nose and head which make me even grumpier!

The good things:

• I played knockout with some of my boys and now they think I'm the coolest because I can knock them out.
• The little girl who told me I was her "favorite teacher ever." This girl BARELY spoke to me last year. It's been nice to see her open up.
• The kids who LOVE to participate...even though "OO.OO.OO!" while they are raising their hand is totally annoying.
• The little boy who had to tell me this morning about how he and his mom got lost at the Governer's Mansion last night and ended up by the movie theater. I also like hearing that parents do stuff like that with their kids. Not many of our parents do (gosh, I am SO pessimistic today!)

Here's to Wednesday and hoping that IT IS BETTER!