TMI

As the title to this post might suggest, this story might be TMI for some of you. So if you're okay with 5th graders and female bodily functions, read on:





This is a true story.

My good friend at school comes up and tells me that one of her students' mothers has just emailed her to let her know that her period has started (See? Ick, right?). Just as she closes the email, this student comes into the room and whispers in her ear, joyfully I might add, that she has started her period. Just as I receive a warning email from my friend that I may hear this information first-hand (my desk is in her room, and I student taught her wee ones), this girl comes over to me. The conversation goes like this:

Girl (whispering): Guess what?
Me: What?
Girl: I started my period!!
Me (incredulously staring at her, wondering why she is telling me this): Oh. Wow. So is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Girl: It's a good thing!

A few hours later...

Girl (whispering to me right in the middle of me trying to line the class up): Hey.
Me: Wait a second.
Girl: Hey.
Me: What?
Girl: (mumbling jibberish)
Me: I can't understand you.
Girl (a little louder): So...when do I need to change my pad?
Me: What? (again, WHY WHY WHY, and WHEN did I become your MOTHER?)
Girl: I have some pads in my bag.
Me: Uh, okay, when was the last time you changed it?
Girl: This morning.
Me: Um, okay, you should probably do it now.

Gagging. This beautiful conversation is capped when, as we are leaving for lunch, this girl comes out to wash her hands (the sinks are in the hallway to prevent hooliganism in the bathrooms), and decides right then and there to adjust her crotch area. While the whole class is standing there.

Don't even get me started. I don't think 5th grade is really gonna be my thing.