So...are you going to buy a house?

If there's one question I'm sick of, it's that one.

We've finally got people to stop asking when we're going to have kids. Which really wasn't that hard, because the people we know are kind and non-intrusive and non-judgmental, and most people understand that's a pretty lame question to ask someone unless they are volunteering that information.

But "Are you looking for a house/So you going to buy a house next?" has nearly replaced that in questions that make me cringe. I know that I am ultra-senstive about it, because YES, I would LOVE to have a house. I would LOVE to have a yard, and a deck, and walls to paint, and an extra bedroom. I would LOVE it. But for us, it's not in the cards for a while, and somehow that question makes me feel bad about myself. I don't know when living in an apartment became a lower form of living, and it just may possibly be that I FEEL that way when I get asked that question, even if the person asking the question means nothing by it. In fact, I'm sure that anyone who asks that questions is not purposely doing it to MAKE me feel bad (I hear my mom saying, "No one can MAKE you feel bad, no one can MAKE you do anything" in my head ). But, I have not figured out how to answer that question without feeling like I have to be on the defensive. My answers have ranged from, "No, not yet" to "Someday" to "Yes, we have a dwelling to live in," to "No, we're not really house people (which is a lie, we COULD be house people, but we CAN'T be house people, so we make ourselves feel better by saying that one out loud).

Now I know I shouldn't get all worked up about it, and I'm really trying hard not to, but I think people should be aware that sometimes that question is the equivalent of "So when are you going to have kids?" (Add that to, "So, did you get a job yet?" Eek. That's an uncomfortable one too. Maybe also, "Are you dating anyone?")

The other day I saw this quote on Facebook. I send it to Todd, and we had a laugh, because this is exactly how we feel when we get the dreaded "house" Q&A.

So, I've come up with a few solutions. One, I have to remember everyone's circumstances are unique, and that there is not one thing wrong with living in an apartment. NOT ONE THING. I need to keep telling myself this, because it's true. If we were to buy a house, it would be a really bad financial decision for us. And that's all that matters. Living in a small apartment is a short-term solution that is going to help us reach our long-term financial goals. And that probably includes a house. But not just yet!

Two, I have to remind myself not to feel like I have to get defensive. When I get the "house" question, I am not being interrogated or put on trial for failing to acquire a house by the time I'm 30. If I get/have gotten defensive with you, I apologize now!

Three, there are so many benefits to living in a smaller space. Lower electricity, lower bills in general, no maintenance, etc. It's wonderful. I don't need to be in any rush because there will be plenty of time for trash pickup, calling the plumber, or taking care of the lawn. For now, I don't have to do any of that. I should be shouting, HALLELUJAH! Also, I've spent this whole week packing, and I am REALLY grateful our small space limits the amount of stuff I have to pack :)

And, if you live in a huge house, go YOU! I don't want to be judged for my small house, so I'm working on not being a hypocrite. It's a work in progress, I tell ya!

I  love this quote one of my friends has in her own home, taken from a country song:

The song is super cheesy, but the message is OUR LIFE. In fact, I will probably figure out a way in our new home to post this so that I can remind myself each day that many blessings come in small packages.

Fourth, relating to blessings, we have so many. Sometimes that "have nots" get in the way of recognizing all that we have. We are truly blessed. We have so many good things in our lives. We are happy, and that is so important. We are happy because of friends and family and the gospel, which are part of who we are, not because of plain ole THINGS.

Lastly, I'm remembering my own personal mantra, from Doctrine and Covenants 122:7 "All these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good." 

So here's to finding the good, house or not!