Delayed Blessings

When I was little, I learned that if you ask for something, and you are making good choices, and the thing you are asking for is a good thing, you will get an answer!

I know that as adults, we have to simplify things for kids. So, through a gradual process, I have come to realize that righteous desires to do not always happen quickly. In fact, sometimes the things we want the most take a LONG, LONG time to happen. We're even told that we may not get some blessings until the next life!!

I am not a patient person. So, when something I really wanted, something that was good (I am just going to call this thing "something" but some of you know what it is), didn't happen when I wanted, even though I was doing the right thing, and I knew that desiring it was the right thing, I hit a spiritual wall. You know, the "why is God doing this to me?" wall.

I spent some time being sad, and angry, and frustrated. I didn't like feeling sad, and angry, and frustrated. I knew it was not what Heavenly Father wanted me to be doing. I tried to understand what He DID want me to be doing. I listened very carefully to church talks, general conference, etc.

I started to get a message. A new lesson, not a lesson that's maybe right for children, but one that fits the adult Megan. The one that will have trials, that also has many blessings, but that will have some "delayed" blessings too.

The message was, "Heavenly Father has a plan for you. Heavenly Father loves you. Righteous people have trials. Righteous people may have trials that last a long time. Righteous people are not exempt from trials! But Heavenly Father knows you. He has a plan that may be better than what you had planned for yourself. He has a reason. He will not withhold blessings forever. He loves you, He LOVES you."

And so, I've learned how to suffer. Not in the totally depressing way. In a way where that suffering teaches me to endure, where it teaches me to see the many other blessings in my life, where it teaches me to understand to the tiniest degree what the Savior suffered for me. I have been taught patience, I have been taught the value of service, I have been taught how timely and instrumental the right calling at the right time can be. I have been learning to listen for spiritual applications.

Last month, after I had thought about all this, and a time came around that had, in the past, been a difficult time for me...well, it was different. I didn't feel sad. I thought about it, sure, but I wasn't angry, or sad, or frustrated. I just felt lots and lots of possibility. I thought of all of the things that I could do because I was experiencing this trial. I thought of all the people I would be able to empathize with. It felt so good to feel that way. It felt so good to CHOOSE, and know that I was choosing to be cheerful. It made me think that I could wait...I could wait for the right time for that answer to be YES! That I could wait a really, really long time if that's what the Lord has in store for me. And knowing I was that strong felt amazing.

I read this today from Elder Eyring (seriously, these guys have been talking RIGHT TO ME for months!):

“I cannot promise an end to your adversity in this life,” President Eyring explained. “I cannot assure you that your trials will seem to you to be only for a moment. … [But] in Their perfect love for you, Heavenly Father and the Savior want you fitted to be with Them to live in families forever."

Faith in Jesus Christ is what helps us endure trials well, President Eyring said. This faith is built by “choosing the right consistently whenever the choice is placed before us.”

“With prophets revealing to us our place in the plan of salvation, we can live with perfect hope and a feeling of peace,” President Henry B. Eyring, Second Counselor in the First Presidency, said. “We never need to feel that we are alone or unloved in the Lord’s service because we never are. We can feel the love of God. The Savior has promised angels on our left and our right to bear us up. And He always keeps His word.”

President Eyring said, “If we have faith in Jesus Christ, the hardest as well as the easiest times in life can be a blessing.”

I know this to be true. I know that someday I'll look back at this part of my life, and it will seem like a blip on the radar. That it won't be so important what the trial was, but how I handled it...how I CHOSE to react.